Thursday, March 31, 2011

Fun at the Store.

Hey guys, I'm just got out of work. It's been a couple of days since I posted something, so I thought I might as well relate a rather charming little incident that happened today involving me, Alex, a grumpy old woman, and a can of ravioli.

Alex and I were out shopping for groceries last night (Yes, we shop together. Yes we're straight) We were walking down the aisles, throwing stuff in the cart. Well, I was throwing stuff in the cart, Alex was throwing them in, and then putting them back on the shelves... three aisles from where they started. We had been doing this for nearly 30 minutes, when finally some random old woman, who I swear was following us, had enough. Keep in mind, this wasn't your sweet, grandmotherly type old lady; This woman looked like one of those mummies they pull of off mountains in the Tibet, or get found in swamps. She gets up in Alex's face (or as close as possible since Alex is easily 6'2", and this woman might top out at 4'8" with a good pairs of heels) and starts rasping at him in this emphysemic voice that if she sees him put one more thing from our cart back, she'll call the manager. So Alex, being the upstanding gentleman he is, walks past the old broad, reaches into her cart, pulls out a can Chef Boyardee Ravioli, puts it on the shelf (Next to some loaves of bread) blows her a kiss, and walks off, leaving her looking appalled, and me scrambling for the check-out counter, trying not to pee myself  from laughing. This, ladies and mentlegen, is my life.

Aside from the usual hijinx of my life, it's been a rather calm couple of days. No more strange voice messages, though none of my friends seemed to have any idea what it was that I was talking about when I asked about it. I'm just gonna write it off as a couple of twelve year olds trying to be cool. Sheila's funeral is Sunday. I'm pretty freaked out, to be honest. Her dad was out of the picture long before I showed up, but her mom has always had it in for me, sentiments I'm sure haven't been helped by the fact that I apparently drove her to suicide.... sigh.

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